The last few months have been hard on Dodge owners due to vehicle theft, but imagine how we feel having to cover it all!
Since the pandemic began, Dodge owners seem to be taking a serious hit with automotive theft. In a groundbreaking move, the team at Motorious has come up with a way to stop this from happening: Steal all the Chargers and Challengers at once.
The collected cars will be set on fire in the streets of Miami Beach later today as an effigy to the modern muscle car. Special guests will include: the guy who outran the cops in a Challenger Hellcat, only to run out of gas and wander around on the phone in a cow pasture with no covering, people who leave their Dodge's running in downtown Atlanta while they go into a gas station, and Hulk Hogan (because why not).
We should note that if you left your French Bulldog in your Hellcat, they will be available to pickup after 5pm today. Keys and weapons left in Chargers and Challengers will not be returned.
If you've read this far without realizing it's April 1st, our legal department has asked at we issue a full disclaimer that this is a poorly thought out April Fools joke. So here we go:
No staff member has ever stolen a Dodge Charger or Challenger, so far as we know. There will not be an event to burn any Hellcats in Miami, as local Covid restrictions do not allow gatherings large enough to accommodate the anticipated crowds. No French Bulldogs were harmed in the making of this post. And Hulk Hogan has not RSVP'ed to any Motorious events.